The Psychology of Change: Working with Resistance, Not Against It

Change is everywhere: in our personal lives, our relationships, and the groups and organisations we’re a part of. Yet for something that is so ever-present, change can often feel deeply uncomfortable.

Even when we want change, we can find ourselves hesitating, backtracking, or resisting it altogether. Why?

From a psychodynamic perspective, resistance to change isn’t a flaw in character or a simple lack of willpower. It’s a natural response to uncertainty, loss, and the unconscious attachments we hold to the familiar - even if the familiar no longer serves us.

There is often resistance whenever we seek a change

Why Change Feels So Hard

Change, even positive change, usually involves letting go of something. That might be a role, a way of relating to others, a sense of identity, or a deeply held belief. Beneath the surface, this can trigger feelings of anxiety, grief, or vulnerability.

Resistance is often a form of self-protection. We resist not because we don’t want to change or grow, but because some part of us fears what that growth might cost.

In organisations, the same dynamic plays out on a collective level. Change initiatives can stir up defensiveness, confusion, and conflict; not because people are being difficult, but because something core is being threatened or disrupted.

Understanding Resistance as Meaningful

In psychodynamic thinking, resistance isn’t something to be crushed, conquered or bypassed. It’s meaningful. It tells us what feels threatened, what needs to be understood, and where support is required.

Whether in psychotherapy or in organisational work, resistance often carries important information:

• What is being protected?

• What fear or loss is being defended against?

• What assumptions or loyalties are being challenged?

When we explore resistance with curiosity rather than judgment, we create space for real engagement with change; not just surface compliance.

Working With Resistance

When working with people or organisations, I don’t try to outpace or override resistance; I’m interested in what it’s telling us. Often, resistance holds valuable insight about what feels threatened, what has been lost, or what isn’t yet understood.

Rather than offering step-by-step solutions, I try to create space where discomfort can be acknowledged without judgement. That might mean pausing to notice tensions that are emerging, or paying attention to what isn’t being said in a room. It’s rarely about dramatic interventions; it’s more often about noticing, naming, and holding space for complexity.

Resistance is not the enemy of change; it’s part of the emotional terrain which we have to cross to achieve it. And while I don’t offer quick fixes, I do try to support people and organisations in staying with that process; long enough for something more honest, and more useful, to emerge.

Change That Sticks

Lasting change doesn’t come from imposing new behaviours or strategies from the outside. It comes from engaging with the emotional and relational dynamics that make change difficult in the first place.

When we respect resistance and explore its meaning, we’re better equipped to support real, sustainable transformation; whether in ourselves, our relationships, or the organisations we lead.